Ed's depression
by idk4696
Summary: ed becomes depress because al doesn't know how he really feels. will al ever know? al seme. ed uke. SHONEN AI


AlxEd: Ed's depression

'_Man, he has everything. Looks, personality, kindness, self-restraint and strength. All's that missing to him is me. All I am is a short-tempered, dumb, pipsqueak from South Africa. Just kidding about the South African thing. But seriously I'm a loser.' _ Edward Elric stared out of window, admiring the nature; which always caused him to have these thoughts.

Ed glanced over at his sleeping brother. Al has gotten so tall over the years, probably over 6 feet tall. Ed smiled at his sleeping younger brother. He looked so peaceful and tired. Ed's stomach twisted as he got the urge to be with Al as he laid on the couch. To have Al's arms wrapped around him and to hear his slow soft voice. '_Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Quit with the homosexual brother thoughts. He's your little brother. You gotta be mature. Totally mature.' _ Ed tried to shake off his romantic fantasy dream with negative thoughts. 

"Brother, why are you staring at me?" Al awoke from his nap and saw Fullmetal.

Ed turned bright red and stared out of the window again. "No reason!"

"Whatever you say." Al raised an eyebrow, Al walked over to his flustered brother. "You've been acting strange ever since I got my original body back."

"Hmm, haven't noticed." Ed said flatly, refusing to make eye contact with his brother.

"Well we never really talk and you refuse to make eye contact. Not to mention you always stare out into space. What are you always thinking about?"

"Doesn't matter," Ed would never in a million years tell his brother what he has been thinking about and his feelings towards his brother. "Think someone knocked at the door."

Ed opened the door to see the British mail man. "Yes?"

The mail man said in his British accent, "I got a letter for Mr. Edward Elric and Mr. Alphonse Elric."

"That's us."

"Well here you go and sign here."

Ed grabbed a clipboard and signed his name. "By the way, why are you so British?"

"I'm not British, I'm just gay."

"…" The Gay British man left in a hurry.

"What did he give us?" Al was standing behind Ed.

"Just some letters from Armstrong and Mustang. They always are sending us crap since we quit the military."

"Can I see?"

"I gue-" Ed was cut off as Al reached from behind him and looked at the letters. Ed was pressed against his firm chest and Al's head rested on top of Ed's head. Ed turned a nice scarlet shade. "Al-phonse."

Al stood up to his original position. "Sorry, brother." He smiled awkwardly and walked back inside.

Ed turned around feeling like a child with a cookie and then mother takes the cookie away. '_Say something to him you idiot! Tell him you didn't mind and maybe liked it!' _

"You should come in brother, before you catch a cold in this winter weather."

"Right," Ed flushed again and slammed the front door shut. It seemed like every other moment in his day he would flush. Unless of course he was talking to the cat or the mail man. Ed walked in and sat next to Al on the couch.

"Brother, are you sure everything is all right?" Al asked again, having a worried expression within his eyes.

Ed looked away. "Everything's dandy. Just dandy."

"Dandy? That's like the time you said rawr."

"So, I like saying rawr."

"I know you do."

"Of course you do. I'm going to take a nap." Ed got up abruptly and slammed the door to his bedroom. "I'm such an idiot. Al's gonna catch on and mock me for life."

"Brother, I'd never make fun of you." Al walked in and saw Ed lying flat on his bed, almost in tears.

"Did I tell you to come in?" Ed yelled in frustration.

Al walked over and sat on the edge of his bed and then placed a hand on his brother's back. "What has gotten into you brother?"

"No reason."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Allergies."

Al rolled his eyes at the cliché remark. "Brother, please look at me and tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything. I'm your little brother, remember."

Ed sat straight up and for first time in months, looked at his brother in the eyes for the first time in a year. "No. It's personal. Too personal."

"Why don't you ever tell me anything anymore?" Al wrapped an arm around Ed's shoulder. Ed rejected the gesture and cringed away. "Huh? Something is seriously wrong! You never rejected my comfort before?"

Ed shrugged and said nothing. He couldn't take the pain. Every second he fell more and more in love with his brother. And an arm around his shoulder and loving eyes only made it worse. Every day he rejected all the love, which made more pain and Al noticed almost nothing.

"If you don't say anything it'll make matters worse. Please." Al pleaded with eyes.

'_Alphonse, you know I hate those eyes. Meh. ' _ "Like I said before Alphonse, you'll laugh and make matters worse." Edward tried to get off the bed but Al firmly grabbed his arm to make him stay. "Alphonse! Let me go! I want to be left alone!" Ed was struggling to get Al's hands off his arm. His attempt failed.

Al was getting irritated with Ed's attitude. It's been a year of him being pushed. Al had one arm still firmly on Ed's wrist. The other he firmly grabbed Ed's chin and tilted up towards him. He leaned in. "I will not let go till you tell me what's wrong," Al whispered.

Ed's stomach twisted and his heart gave a tight squeeze at the closeness. "Fine. I'll tell you. But please release me."

"No." Al's grip loosened a bit and placed his other hand on his right cheek. With his other hand he ran his fingers through Ed's hair. "Tell me." He leaned in closer. Al's face was so close that their noses touched. This made Ed a bit edgy.

'_Whoa! WHAT'S GOING ON?' _"Umm…" Al stared more intently. "Well you see." Ed had the urge to look down but Al's gazes were impossible to resist. "Well the problem is." Ed's heart beat picked up and everything in time slowed down. "I…I…I…I'm in love with you Alphonse."

Al's hand stopped stroking his brother's hair. He smiled. "Oh Edward!" Al leaned close and kissed his brother. Edward's world instantly slowed down, but a good slow. Like there was nobody else in the world but him and Al. Ed kissed his brother back and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck.

Al ended to kiss, both were breathless. He stared out of the window and let Ed place with head on his chest. Al shifted Ed so that they were spread out and Ed was in his lap. "Oh brother. Is this what's bothering you?"

Ed turned around. "Yes. Sorry."

Al kissed the top of his head. "That's fine." Al firmly wrapped his arms around Ed.

This was what Ed had always wanted. To be with his favorite person in the world.


End file.
